Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Update 42

Happy New Year!!!!

I'm back from Florida and back to the cold and back to work :( In a few days it will be 5 full months that we are together and 6 months on Valentine's day!!!
My bf is still in Florida and will remain there for most of the winter with his mom. It is not as difficult as I thought it would be and we are talking a lot on the phone and he is catching up on all the work that he didn't do while I was there. He is coming home for a bit to see me end of January and I am sooo excited!
Florida was awesome. Our moms got along fabulously and all four of us had a great time. My mom was so impressed with his cooking, she has been talking about it to everyone, lol. We did some shopping, ate out alot and swam and sat by the pool and just enjoyed the weather. We also went to visit my moms mom, who lives in Florida in the winter too. She made all four of us lunch and although I was nervous about it, it went very well. She wasn't too annoying and didn't say anything inappropriate like "when are you two getting married? I am getting older and I want to know that all my granddaughters are well taken care of. For all you know I could die very soon and miss the wedding!" His mom and I got along great which is something that means the world to me after what I went through with my ex finance's mother. And he got along great with my mom which also means so much to me after how she felt about my non Jewish ex.
We had one interesting argument while I was there. He said that the one thing he will not give up even when we have kids is bacon. I said that he could eat it but not in our house or in front of our children. He said that was very hypocritical and he had no intension of living like a hypocrite. He is usually so easy going and so I was shocked that he would be stuck on such a dumb thing like the three times a year he likes to make bacon at home. I'm not sure how it ended but i think something about his own bacon pan that he can use in the garage, lol!!!
I was a bit irritated because one of the reasons I wanted to marry Jewish was to avoid things like this and it just shows me that there will still be religion issues even if I marry a Jewish person.

I spoke to my ex again. He seems lost. He said something about quiting his job and going to Bali to surf. I feel sad for him. He says he is fine and that he is excited for some adventure but I know lost when I hear it and he is definitely seeking something by making all these changes. He sounded very "eat, pray, love" to me. But it not my problem and I didn't try to help him or solve anything for him. I listened for a bit and then told him that I had to go because I was with my best friend watching Desperate Housewives. If you would have told me 6 months ago that one day watching TV would be more important then talking to him I would have told you that you were crazy. I can't believe how much my feelings changed. I am so indifferent to him. I feel nothing. I wish him the best cause he is a great guy but his life has no effect on mine what-so-ever, which is weird cause there was a time when everything he did and said directly effected my life.
I am so excited to move forward in the relationship that I am in. We have already talked about marriage and children and where we would live etc. It is so amazing to be in a relationship that doesn't have you constantly questioning "is this right for me". It feels right and I have no reason to question it.
The winter is going to be hard cause he is not here but so far so good. One week down and like 10 more to go :(
I think I am being a good sport about it and we will visit back and forth and hopefully the winter will fly by and he will come back home soon! I miss him and I am counting down til his visit in a few weeks.
Thats all I can think of now! I hope everyone had an awesome new years and Hanukkah and Christmas!


  1. if on the whole he agrees with the kosher or kosher style life you want to lead, then trust me, once you're a wife, there aint no cooking bacon at home! don't make a big fuss of it now. just make sure you're generally on the same page. please update more!!

  2. I don't trust this guy. I think he doesn't like rules or strict morals - that is why he argued with the rabbi. In his world morals and rules don't get you anywhere. He wants to be rich and can't be Mr. morals. I think he is doing something shady in Central America and finishing it all up in Florida. There is something very fishy about this guy. My father was the same way, until the IRS came knocking at our door. They took everything. We felt lucky it wasn't the FBI with all the shady stuff my father was into, and for 20 years without getting caught. And my family seemed oh-so-perfect and morally upright. 6 months in LA, 6 months in Florida and a house in a rinky dink town in Central America = tax evasion my dear, big time !! If you marry this guy you will be lucky to survive. I'm sure he's told his parents a nice clean story too.

  3. @anon
    I am so sorry that happened to you and your family and I do appreciate the heads up. However, I assure you that you have read him all wrong. I know exactly what is going on in all aspects of his business. As well, even if he could fool me, with a father like mine, I promise he has been thoroughly checked out, haha! He is an open book... nothing shaddy about him :) Again I am very sorry about what happened with your family but I don't think its fair to accuse everyone who has two houses to be a shaddy illegal and immoral person like you say your dad is.

  4. how old is your boyfriend, just out of curiosity? maybe a bit of a backstory would go a long way. Not that you owe us anything, but it sometimes just sounds like you're checking off your boxes and cant wait to plan a wedding without thinking long term. WHAT IS THE RUSH WOMAN?? IT'S BEEN 5 MONTH!!! you're still in the getting to know stage, why in gds name are you planning out a LIFE already with this guy??

  5. I think it's totally normal to date someone for a few months and envision a life with them. Isn't that what dating is all about? To get to know someone and see if you can picture yourself with them longterm?

  6. I know that it may sound strange after 5 months but I think after what I have been through I am pretty clear on how I feel and what I want. He is what I want. I have been engaged before and in love a few times over. I have also dated 45 other guys and have not called any of them my boyfriend because they were not the one. I think I have searched long and hard to find exactly what I am looking for. I agree with the last comment... I wouldn't be with him if I couldn't picture some kind of long term life with him. I also think thats what dating is all about :)

  7. i'm the anon who wrote the comment about why you're envisioning a life with him after 5 month.

    On one hand i completely understand what you're saying. you're at that age, you want babies, you want the wedding and the only reason I question some of what you're saying is that you seem to have these "wedding Blinders" on where that's the end goal for you. and while i understand that I just urge you to enjoy the moment at the same time. Obviously this is a blog, I don't know you, but I hope to G-d you have friends and family that you can truly turn to just to vent and discuss feelings that aren't so pretty to admit. You dated that Israeli for months even when he didn't put out, you brushed guys off because they were too short or whatever - all within your rights and of course, that is part of dating - but again, it's been 5 month - relax. While yes, it is all about picturing if you can see yourself with the guy, it's also about getting to KNOW that person. And you don't have perspective if you keep brushing things that bother you off, or not even thinking about it. You know what's worse than being 30 and not married? Being 30 and divorced, with G-d forbid, a child.

  8. I am a huge fan of your blog. I think you are an intelligent and interesting girl. I just read these comments and want you to remain positive. I did read the comment a few comments up. I think it was put rudely. But, I am sure that loads of people who read your blog care about you now and want you to make a good decision. And I do have a question: How many Jewish people do you know who own homes in little Catholic towns in Central America? I know of Jewish people who have vacation homes in Costa Rica and locations where other Americans or Europeans keep homes. But, why does you boyfriend keep a home in a very poor area? What are his business interests there? I have worked for different Catholic organizations and yes, we do go into these areas regularly. But even we don't have homes there. If your boyfriend were Catholic or of Latin descent I wouldn't question this. But, since he is Jewish and American, it seems very odd to me. I think that the rude person's comment was really about that, and not about the second home in Florida. She (or he) want to understand his ties to this small village.

  9. FWIW, my husband and I knew we were going to marry each other after dating ONE month. He was looking at rings five months after we met, popped the question two months later, and we were married after six months of being engaged. Sometimes "you just know". It's a cliche' because it's very often true.

    Mazel tov and good luck with this guy! He seems great and makes you happy. What more can you ask for?

  10. time for another update we think!!